Unexpectedly Intriguing!
12 August 2010

By now, you've seen the genius Old Spice commercial featuring "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like". If not, it's time to catch up with the state of the art in popular culture:

Men, you may not yet smell like that man, but before you rush out to the store to stock up on Old Spice products, we think you should at least work out how much you might need.

Obviously, this goes well beyond potential issues related to your personal grooming. Instead, you need to determine how your raw sex appeal compares to that of the man you could smell like.

We can help. In his latest book, Brain Candy (highly recommended), Garth Sundem created a mathematical formula that forms the basis of our newest tool, which you can use to determine where you rank in terms of sex appeal:

Garth Sundem's Sex Appeal Rank Formula from Brain Candy

We've automated the math so all you have to worry about, other than the outcome of the math, is the data you need to enter to determine how you rank as a man among men when it comes to sex appeal:

Male Sex Appeal Data
Variable Input Data Values
T If you can see your toes while standing, enter zero. If not, enter the inches of reduced belt size needed to restore your podiatric vision.
HH Enter the percentage of scalp showing through your hair.
HB Enter the percentage of body below your neck showing through hair.
M Go to a park and smile at ten mothers. How many smile back? (Subtract from this value the number of children who cry.)
O+ How many of the following do you have or have you had? (A gym membership, a cat or dog, silk boxer sorts, a motorcycle, shoes that cost more than $100, sex in the past month, massage oil and/or bubble bath.)
O- How many of the following do you have? (A snake or rat, underwear with holes, a video game machine, Velcro shoes, a condom past its expiration date, any personalized or joke beer paraphernalia, your mother's phone number on speed dial.)
Ss Your shoe size.
X Five will be subtracted from your Sex Appeal score if you actually click the "Calculate" button....

Your Male Sex Appeal Score
Calculated Results Values
Your Male Sex Appeal Rank

Garth offers the following scale by which you can see how your sex appeal might be expressed in terms of beef products, from high (think slightly below the rank of the man you could smell like) to low (sadly, the man you do smell like....):

90 - 100 Filet mignon
70 - 89 Porterhouse
40 - 69 Sirloin
10 - 39 Ground Round
0 - 9 Jerky

Armed with that information, you may now proceed to the store. Or, if your score indicates that you'll be making a large purchase today, you might consider buying your Old Spice products direct from Amazon and having your products shipped to your home. If that's you, consider taking a spin on the carousel below for a selection of popular products....

Elsewhere On the Web

How That Amazing Old Spice Commercial Was Made -- In Just One Take!

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About Political Calculations

Welcome to the blogosphere's toolchest! Here, unlike other blogs dedicated to analyzing current events, we create easy-to-use, simple tools to do the math related to them so you can get in on the action too! If you would like to learn more about these tools, or if you would like to contribute ideas to develop for this blog, please e-mail us at:

ironman at politicalcalculations.com

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