Normally, our inbox is chock-full of Chinese-language spam e-mail for Viagra products, but we finally got some spam that really breaks the mold! Let's go through it together, shall we?
From: Jason Carter <jc@linkspanther.com>
Subject: I had a question about insureblog.blogspot.com
Cool! What would you like to know about insureblog.blogspot.com? We know it's not *our* blog, but we're certainly willing to try to answer any questions that you might have about it!
Good morning, my name is Jason Carter and I am a Internet marketing professional. I had done a Google search under the keyword golf help and had run across your website insureblog.blogspot.com. I see that you are not listed on the first page of Google for your particular search.
Yeah, that's probably our fault, what with insureblog.blogspot.com's laser-like focus on insurance issues rather than golf help, but insureblog.blogspot.com's low Google ranking for searches on "golf help" is truly awful. That's can't be easy to fix, can it?
I am not sure if you're aware of why you're ranked this low but more importantly how easily correctable this is.
Thank goodness! We'd hate to continue to see insureblog.blogspot.com ranked so lowly in Google searches for "golf help." But might we ask, what's in it for us?
There's no reason that you can't have top three rankings for the keyword golf help based on your website structure and content. You have a very nice site.
Why, thank you! We completely agree that the top three rankings for the keyword "golf help" in Google searches should be ours.
What you need is high quality one-way anchor text links. I can help you with this.....
You're a saint, Jason Carter <jc@linkspanther.com>, Internet marketing professional!
Not only can I get you ranked for the keyword golf help but I am talking about all of your keywords on top of Google.
Wow! Is there anything you can't do, Jason Carter <jc@linkspanther.com>, Internet marketing professional?
Adding new high quality PR anchor-text links from the highest quality websites will produce the results and business you want for insureblog.blogspot.com.
Yes! You have no idea how long we've dreamed of producing the results and business we want for insureblog.blogspot.com, so we'll certainly go with all the links we can. But, we'll also have to be discreet, otherwise the other blogs might get jealous....
The right kind of links are crucial in getting top ranking... and I can hand deliver these quality links to you.
Awesome! Let's meet in this parking garage we know over in Rosslyn, Virginia near Washington, D.C.
My partners and I own 1000's of websites and offer private linking to hundreds of website owners just like yourself.
But wait.... are you playing around with us? Aren't we special enough for a real monogamous commitment? And here you tell us that you offer this kind of opportunity to every blog you meet, you Internet marketing professional slut....
I didn't send this email out to very many people but I do favor your website because I can see your website monetizing the targeted website traffic for the keyword golf help can deliver.
So, we are special then. Still, we can't shake the feeling that you're a bit of a stalker....
I have your contact information and phone number. Would it be okay if I were to give you a call?
We knew it - you are a stalker! No, you're worse - we think you're an Internet marketing professional perv!
I have a very simple way to prove to you that what I do works risk free for you to try. Nothing beats seeing the results with your own eyes.
You just keep that trench coat closed, mister.
Would it be okay if I were to give you a call? I would love to pursue this further over the phone with you or should I go somewhere else?
Ewwww!!!! Yuck!
P.S.- if the tables were turned and somebody I didn't know came to me with a proposition, even one that was appealing, I would be hesitant because I would be wondering - what's the catch? What does this guy know that I don't.
Clearly, how to be a stalker, for one thing....
But then again I would think he does know something that I don't know. He owns 1000's of websites, he does have hundreds of thousands of pages indexed with top rankings on Google, Yahoo and Bing. Websites that can deliver only the highest quality anchor-text links that can move your rankings fast. I would also think that I need to get my website in the top rankings. And he is offering turn key page 1 rankings on all of my keywords including golf help. Keywords that produce the kind of traffic potentially worth tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions of dollars.
You just take your sweet talk somewhere else, you Internet marketing professional stalker....
I emailed you this because it's a win-win for both of us. Think of it this way, who wouldn't be interested in buying money at a discount? Because that's what I'll be able to offer you.... discount money.
Hey buddy, I get my discounted money straight from the Federal Reserve's quantitative easing plans. You go take your scummy deals somewhere else!
Would it be okay to give you a call? Or you can call me anytime at the number above and would be happy to explain how I can benefit you risk free.
No means no! Into the mud, scum queen!