Unexpectedly Intriguing!
May 14, 2007

Source: FDA - Adding Sweetener to Coffee Stayed up later than you should have, did you? Or maybe you're just not a "morning person?" Either way, now that you're awake, somebody is probably expecting you to be functional, and for many of you, that means coffee!

But that only answers the question of what you're going to do to become functional. You still need to know how much coffee you're going to have to drink to fully rejoin the world of the living and the productive.

Fortunately, Geek Logik's Garth Sundem faces a similar problem every day and has worked out the formula for helping you figure out how many cups of joe it's going to take to get you going this morning. Our tool below automates the early-morning head-throbbing algebra for you:

Coffee Consumption Data
Input Data Values
The amount of caffeine you consume in an average morning
(in shots of espresso)
The hours of sleep you got last night
(Subtract one for every time you woke up in a cold wweat, thinking about the things you need to do today)
The hours of sleep you need to remain civil with telemarketers
How many kids do you have?
(Kids in diapers are worth two; kids over age 18 are worth half)
How busy are you today?
(1-15 with 1 being "easy like Sunday morning" and 15 being "presently birthing triplets")
How many hours per day do you usually spend in non-recreational activities?
Hours of naptime you can squeeze in this afternoon


How Many Cups of Coffee?
Calculated Results Values
Number of Cups

For those of you who drink regular drip or brewed coffee, a cup of coffee would be the rough equivalent of one shot of espresso. From the FAQ for Caffeine:

Is it true that espresso has less caffeine than regular coffee?

Yes and no. An espresso cup has about as much caffeine as a cup of dark brew. But servings for espresso are much smaller. Which means that the content of caffeine per millilitre are much higher than with a regular brew. Moreover, caffeine is more quickly assimilated when taken in concentrated dosages, such as an espresso cup.

...

Here's the caffeine content of Drip/Espresso/Brewed Coffee:

Drip            115-175
Espresso        100         1 serving (1.5-2oz)
Brewed          80-135

And that's that! The only questions left are: cream and sugar?

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