Unexpectedly Intriguing!
Did you ever wonder about the relative power of the people you find on a college campus? What follows is an old list, which is often adapted for other professions, but it's still fun, and sadly, true for many of our higher education institutions today.
| The Power Structure of Academia |
| Academic Position |
Relative Power |
| The Dean |
- Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
- Is more powerful than an locomotive.
- Is faster than a speeding bullet.
- Walks on water.
- Gives policy to God.
|
| The Department Head |
- Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
- Is more powerful than a switch engine.
- Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
- Can handle walking on water on a calm day.
- Talks with God.
|
| The Professor |
- Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
- Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
- Is faster than a speeding BB.
- Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
- Talks with God if a special request is honored.
|
| The Associate Professor |
- Barely clears a quonset hut.
- Loses tug of war with a locomotive.
- Can fire a speeding bullet.
- Swims well.
- Is occasionally addressed by God.
|
| The Assistant Professor |
- Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings.
- Is run over by locomotives.
- Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury.
- Treads water.
- Talks to animals.
|
| The Instructor |
- Climbs walls continually.
- Rides the rails.
- Plays Russian Roulette.
- Walks on thin ice.
- Prays a lot.
|
| The Graduate Student |
- Runs into buildings.
- Recognizes locomotives two out of three times.
- Is not issued ammunition.
- Can stay afloat with a life jacket.
- Talks to walls.
|
| The Undergraduate Student |
- Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings.
- Says "Look at the choo-choo".
- Usually outruns the water from a water pistol.
- Plays in mud puddles.
- Mumbles to self.
|
| The Department Secretary |
- Lifts buildings and walks under them.
- Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
- Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them.
- Freezes water with a single glance.
- She IS God.
|
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