Unexpectedly Intriguing!
04 October 2007

The tools at Political Calculations can help you answer all sorts of questions that matter to your personal life, but this time, we're going to get *real* personal. Specifically, it's time we dealt with your personal grooming.

It's not so much what we smell coming from the device through which you're accessing the Internet (which we really can smell, by the way), or what everyone who has encountered you lately is saying about the subject on the Internet, so much as it's clear that somebody *literally* needs to do something the clear the air here.

That somebody is Geek Logik's Garth Sundem. Garth has developed a formula that you can use to determine if that personal grooming routine you might have developed back in the stone age is truly cutting it in the Internet age. We've taken Garth's math (and measurement magnitude scales) and built the following tool, specifically for *you*, to finally deal with this touchy topic:

Your Current Personal Hygiene Data
Input Data Values
Your Age
Number of stains currently showing on your clothing.
Radius at which strangers are offended by your body odor (in feet).
Grain of sandpaper that most closely describes your face
240-500 is fine grain used for finishing
100-240 is mid-grain used for smoothing
20-100 is rough grain used for sanding off the face of your significant other
Number of fingernails that have dirt under at least one-quarter of their arc.
Estimated average grooming score of those around you
(-10 to 10 with 10 being "English royalty" and -10 being "English setter")
Your potential for intimacy this evening
(1-10 with 10 being "returning home after overseas deployment")

Your Personal Grooming Index
Calculated Results Values
Personal Grooming Index Score
Is Your Personal Grooming Adequate?

The threshold between ranking well and well, being rank, is an index score of 1, with values greater than this indicating that your grooming is adequate for being out among those you expect to be among. We point this out so you can adjust the figures to find out just how far you can let things slide before taking the trouble to clean yourself up.

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About Political Calculations

Welcome to the blogosphere's toolchest! Here, unlike other blogs dedicated to analyzing current events, we create easy-to-use, simple tools to do the math related to them so you can get in on the action too! If you would like to learn more about these tools, or if you would like to contribute ideas to develop for this blog, please e-mail us at:

ironman at politicalcalculations

Thanks in advance!

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