The return of the "spooky" season finds the Inventions in Everything team thinking the unthinkable. Maybe it was a recent viewing of 1962's The Brain That Wouldn't Die that put the idea out there. Or maybe it was watching a rerun of Futurama. Either way, here's the unthinkable thought, which is really a question: Has anyone has ever patented an invention for keeping a severed head alive?
It turns out there's quite a lot of interest among inventors to create such a device. But the one that stood out the most to us is U.S. Patent 4,666,425, which features Chet Fleming's "Device for Perfusing An Animal Head".
Here's the patent's abstract to help ease you into what this innovation is all about:
This invention involves a device, referred to herein as a "cabinet," which provides physical and biochemical support for an animal's head which has been "discorporated" (i.e., severed from its body). This device can be used to supply a discorped head with oxygenated blood and nutrients, by means of tubes connected to arteries which pass through the neck. After circulating through the head, the deoxygenated blood returns to the cabinet by means of cannulae which are connected to veins that emerge from the neck. A series of processing components removes carbon dioxide and add oxygen to the blood. If desired, waste products and other metabolites may be removed from the blood, and nutrients, therapeutic or experimental drugs, anti-coagulants, and other substances may be added to the blood. The replenished blood is returned to the discorped head via cannulae attached to arteries. The cabinet provides physical support for the head, by means of a collar around the neck, pins attached to one or more vertebrae, or similar mechanical means.
Here's a rendering of Figure 3 from the 1987 patent, which also appears on its cover page. We can only thank the inventor for the kindness of illustrating several functional aspects of the invention with its user facing away from the viewer.
Here's the cool part. While the invention presented in this patent is more conceptual than functional, it has been cited in 40 subsequent patent applications and issued patents aimed at various aspects of preserving severed body parts long enough to either be transplanted or reattached to patients missing them.
Perhaps the best news of all is that aside from some questionable Halloween decorations, we did not find any indication of a actual severed head preservation system available for sale on Amazon. There is however Moonbeam Island's track titled "If We Can Keep a Severed Head Alive" on their self-titled MP3 recording.
But better still, there is inventor Chet Fleming's 1988 book entitled If We Can Keep a Severed Head Alive...Discorporation and U.S. Patent 4,666,425. Here's the book-selling blurb from Amazon:
"If We Can Keep A Severed Head Alive . . . describes, in clear and straightforward English, one of the most important yet shocking developments in the history of medicine. All of the necessary components are now available, and it is technically feasible to keep a severed head alive and conscious on blood-processing equipment," (front flap). "A truly remarkable statement on the interactions between science and society, this book is a startling and provocative contribution from an original and independent thinker," (rear flap).
You must act quickly if you want a copy. At this writing, only two used hardcovers of this 461 page book are available for $200. Hopefully you won't lose your head over such a high asking price to share in the inventor's visions of the future.
From the Inventions in Everything Archives
Here's a short list of inventions more suitable for celebrating the spooky season!
- Inventions in Everything: Pure Nightmare Fuel
- Inventions in Everything: Carvable Artificial Pumpkin
- Inventions in Everything: A Third Eye for Smartphone Zombies
- Inventions in Everything: The COVID Candy Chute
- Chairs to Haunt Your Dreams This Hallow's Eve
- Happy Holographic Halloween!
- Self-Carving Pumpkins
Labels: technology
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